Romantic Getaway to the Farmers Daughter Hotel

Since our wedding annivesery fell on a Monday this year, we celebrated on the Saturday before with a show, party and orgy (doesn’t everybody celebrate that way?). How could we top that for our actual anniversary? Well, we couldn’t, especially on a Monday, so we did something completely different. We took ourselves on one of those “Romantic Getaways” we’re always recommending for other couples to the Farmer’s Daughter Hotel.

It would prove to be a night of decadent pleasure as well as a trip down Memory Lane. This wasn’t the first time we’d checked in to the notorious Farmer’s Daughter. Back in 2001, before the renovations made it a chic spot for couples of all orientations, we stayed in room 101. Well, actually Max stayed there during a very enemy-rich period of our lives, when a variety of individuals and institutions were after us-or after Max–all for crazy stuff that has since been proven bogus. I would work at the Institute all day, and at night, they’d whisk me over to room 101 at the Farmer’s Daughter, and Max and I would fall into each other’s overwrought arms, then scheme and dream and scare each other with paranoid fantasies of what our enemies would do to us in between rounds of passionate, this-could-be-the-last-time sex.

We felt a little like Bonnie and Clyde without the guns, but with the fear and the romance. When it comes to erotic passion, a little bit of fear is like spice in your enchilada, but too much spoils the meat. So it’s great that at this point, all of those enemies have backed down or faded away. Thus it was a treat for us to spend our 18th “honeymoon” at the Farmer’s Daughter, especially when we found we were in room 101. Our old hide-out!

Not that it’s the same room. The whole hotel has been renovated, and room 101 itself has been transformed into a hot sex room with artisan-quality country-style finishings and mirrors on the ceiling. Ooh-la-la! Love those mirrors on the ceiling. Gives you a different–and rather flattering– perspective. Most people look sexier lying down. And the added, fantasy-exhibitionistic spice and erotic disorientation of seeing our heavenly reflections floating above our earthbound, humping bodies made for even more orgasmic sex than the night before.

But the best part was that we got to leave together in the morning. We did have a delectable breakfast at the quite nice hotel restaurant aptly named Tart, which included a yolkless omelet and rattlesnake sausage (sorry Eve!)

Close to the Farmer’s Market (another one of our old courtship haunts) and Cantor’s Deli, the Farmer’s Daughter is a great, inexpensive, little romantic getaway even if you never used it as a hide-out. Make sure to ask for #101 as that’s the only room with the mirrors on the ceiling.